The So-Called :: Charter'97 :: News

You know that when you were Gentiles you worshipped the voiceless idols,
as though they had led you.
(1 Corinthians 12:15)
Have you ever thought that the US president George Bush is phony and doesn’t exist? Or that the Eiffel tour isn’t really a tower, let alone Eiffel one. Or may be you have been troubled to know that two plus two equals twenty seven?

And then you start thinking: is it only us who are so crazy or the whole world is running wild? In fact, the question is rather rhetorical: everything is real, including the Eiffel tower, George W. Bush, while two plus two means four. But not here, though…

Let’s start with the head of state. How does the civilized world call him? Right you are, “a so-called president of the Republic of Belarus”. Why? Because he appointed himself to the post after the “so-called elections”.

Let me briefly explain you the difference between elections and the so-called elections.

During the real elections the citizens vote for this or that candidate after which their votes are counted and the victor gets proclaimed. The winner is then respectfully referred to as President.

At the “so-called elections” the citizens vote for some candidate, after which the ballot-sheets get burnt down, while the most ridiculous runner is proclaimed a winner. And everyone scornfully calls him “a so-called president”.

Same story with the parliament. How do they call the Belarusian legislative body? Right, a “so-called parliament”. Why? Because it was created during the “so-called parliamentary elections”.

During the parliamentary elections the country’s residents vote for their candidates according to the territorial principle, choosing a few hundred most worthy candidates. Then their votes get counted and they form a real effective state body, called the Parliament. The Parliament develops laws for the citizens and doesn’t let the President become a scum.

During the “so-called parliamentary elections” the country’s citizens vote for their candidates according to the territorial principle, picking several hundred most worthy ones. Then the ballot-sheets get burnt, while the “so-called president” appoints members of the “so-called parliament” from the most undeserving ones. The “so-called parliament” adopts laws, written by the “so-called president” and helps him turn into a scum in the shortest possible way.

People hate lengthy definitions and for this reason ignore all these “so-called” terms, replacing them by more laconic and precise ones.

Once Belarusians, having staged the only real elections in the country, called their newly elected president “Batka” (Daddy). However, soon it turned out that our country is inhabited not by orphans alone… Finally they renamed “Batka” into “Luka”, not giving tribute to one of evangelists, but simply contracting Russian noun “lukavstvo” (slyness) to four letters.

The “so-called parliament” has been dealt with in an even simpler manner. The “so-called president” when appointing the “so-called parliament”, named it the National assembly, consisting of two chambers: the House of representatives and the Council of the Republic. The folks didn’t feel like splitting a weird structure into parts and called it a “house”, which describes it well. The “so-called deputies”, in breach of all the linguistic norms, were called “house-keepers”.

At times the “so-called president” and the “so-called parliament” hold their joint assemblies in the “so-called Palace of the Republic”, which thankful Belarusians called “sarcophagus”. At first it seemed as though they were moved to call it so by the very form of the architectural masterpiece, but later it turned out that it wasn’t really so. They simply faced an irresistible desire to bury this “so-called life” and start things anew.

However, this life can be started anew only by those, who love their parents, children, spouses and friends… Who can rejoice in the life, instead of murmuring in the empty kitchens… Who know what the word “honor” means… Who know their country, which gave them the joy of the first steps made, first school bells and first falling in love… Those, who walk rather than crawl… Who are real men and women rather than the “so-called” ones.

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